Stupid Questions
by Sexy Bookworm
Summary: On a boring December day, Iola decidies to ask some tough questions that even the infamous Joe Hardy can't answer, since he's just trying to watch TV.Oneshot


Iola Natalie Morton, 17 year old wild child, sat cross legged on the Hardy's living room couch that particular December afternoon, watching NCIS. Well, that's what it looked like she was doing, really, she had seen this episode at least seven times, and, really she was bored.

Her best friend, Joe Hardy, was currently laying on the floor, wrapped up in the episode. Unlike Iola, Joe was not a TV holic, and did not cry when the writers strike started, so this was his first time seeing this crime show's hour of witty banter and blood. Iola sighed again as she noticed something. Something, particular. Something that got her thinking about something else other than her stubby nails that needed filed and her undone history homework.

"Hey, Joe?"

Joe peeked over his shoulder at his blue eyed companion, and raised his eyebrows.

"What, Iola?"  
Iola then tilted her head to the right in a pondering way, and looked at the bowl of fruit sitting on the coffee table.

"Why is it called a pineapple when there's neither pine or apple in it?"

Joe gave Iola a what-in-the-world-did-that-come-from? Look and shrugged.

"I don't know…why does it matter?"

Iola copied coughMOCKEDcough Joe's shrug and looked thoughtfully at the yellow Hawaiian fruit. Joe went back to NCIS, and Iola got an idea on how to keep busy.

"Hey, Joey?"

Joe did a mental groan, and turned around, only to give Iola a glare that parent's give their arrested children.

"WHAT, Iola?"

"Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights? Where else would you use them?"

Joe groaned and turned all the way around.

"I don't know, Iola. Maybe on the moon?"

Iola uncrossed her legs and stretched out on the plaid sofa.

"I don't think so, Joe. Wouldn't gravity take them away?"

Joe sighed and rubbed his face as if getting a migraine and with Iola playing the 'why' game, maybe he would. Joe then turned all the way around and tried to make sense of where the agents were currently raiding, when another thought entered Iola's mind.

"Hey, Joe?"

Joe groaned, out loud, in frustration as he put his head in his hands.

"Iola, I am trying to watch TV, can you relax, please!"

Iola looked down at her hands and sighed.

"Sorry, Joe. But I have a question…"

Joe mentally killed his best friend and gritted his teeth as he asked,

"What ever could be your question, Iola?"

"Why are obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?"

Joe ran a pale hand through his sunny blonde hair, which was the exact opposite of Iola's.

"I dunno, maybe they enjoy confusing the bologna out of small brained 17 year old girls."

Iola then dramatically brought her hand to her chest.

"Why Joey, is that suppose to be an insult?"  
Joe ignored her, and angrily returned to the TV. Almost too angry to focus.

"Hey-"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"  
"Gosh, Joe. I just wanted to ask you a question."

Joe smacked his hand against the floor in angrily, but Iola's swiftly moved her eyes away from her best friend.

"Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when someone turns a light on?"

Joe turned around, sat up, and threw his hands up in the air to add effect to the point he was about to make.

"They go into hiding?"

Iola glared at Joe.

"Come on Joe, that's the stupidest answer I have ever heard!-"

"YEAH! And it's a stupid question!"

Iola then sat straight up, straighter then a ruler, and put her hands on her hips.

"Gosh. It was just a question. There are no stupid questions, you know."

Joe then grumbled something about women and turned back to the TV.

"Whose bright idea was it to put an 's' in lisp?"

Joe smacked both hands angrily on the ground, jumped up and turned around.

"I DON'T KNOW IOLA! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CAME UP WITH THE WORD LISP! NOW WATCH THE DARN SHOW!"

Joe then turned around and flopped passionately back onto the floor.

"If we all quit voting, will the politicians just go away?"  
Joe, who was by now way far past his breaking point, started breathing through his nose like an overworked horse, and turned his head to see Iola Natalie Morton.

"Iola. I am tired of this game, will you watch the darn show?"  
Iola snorted, blew a black curl off of her face, folded her arms across her chest, and mumbled.

"Sorry. I've only seen this seven times."

The two watched the episode in silence for about fifteen minutes, It was just getting good, to the part of all crime show when your hair stands up, when you get goose pimples, when your leaning forward…

"If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?"

Said JOE with a smirk, happy to finally get back at his best friend.

"JOE!"

Shrieked Iola as the crime scene exploded into flames.  
"IT WAS THE GOOD PART!"

"IT WAS PAYBACK!"

The two were then standing face to face when Iola said.

"Ok, no more puzzling question's. truce?"  
The thing about Iola, is she could never hold a grudge. Joe smiled at his friend's usually quirky behavior, and agreed.

"Truce."

The two finished out watching the episode, when Laura Hardy, Joe's mother, walked into the cozy living room.

"Hey kids?"

Called the 40 year old blonde librarian and mother as she walked into the room, holding a can of PAM spray, most likely for tonight's dinner.

"Yeah, mom?"  
Said Joe while walking up to the TV to take the NCIS season whatever disk out of the DVD player.

"If nothing ever sticks to PAM, how do they make PAM stick to the pan?"


End file.
